Reset: The Marriage Strengthener

Hi there!

This last week we got hammered with snow and subzero temps outside. It was too cold for me to enjoy, so I stayed indoors and drank lots of warm coffee and hot cocoa.

Because my husband and I both work from home, we decided to rearrange our week and use some of the coldest days to dream about a future house/shop.

I don't know about you, but as for me, dreaming almost always leads to an action plan. How do we move forward and make it work?

After two days of detailed planning, my husband was ready to switch gears into a different way of thinking about our future. I had a bit of proverbial whiplash.

I generally don't yell or use hurtful language with my husband, even if I'm upset. Yet when he asked for my reaction (without any time to process), I had some things I needed to share and get off my chest.

If you have been married longer than a minute, you know this moment. The moment when you are invited to share your thoughts, emotions, and opinions without any restraint. So I do, but with a focus on how I'm feeling. For example, I say, "I feel this way when this happens," instead of "You're only thinking of yourself." I never want to lash out in anger or pain in order to care for my husband's heart. He is precious to me, and even if I feel misunderstood, I want him to know he is loved.

So what happened? Well, we had an incredible, calm, heart-to-heart. Yes, I cried (snotty nose, puffy eyes, and everything), but also yes, my husband was kind and gracious the whole time. He let me share without interruption or arguing because he didn't feel attacked or defensive. We worked out a few issues, but mostly it was nice just to be on the same page...to reset.

What about you? What is your choice in that moment with your spouse? I'm sure, like me, it's doesn't always end so well, but resetting with my husband was a great marriage strengthener for us.

I'd love to hear from you! How can I be praying for you and your spouse?

Until next time,

~ Stephanie

StephanieMBullock.com